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		<title>Do You Feel Like Rebelling Against These Things Too?</title>
		<link>https://arealgreenlife.com/what-i-want-to-rebel-against/</link>
					<comments>https://arealgreenlife.com/what-i-want-to-rebel-against/#respond</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Kate]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 27 Jun 2024 20:31:28 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Building Personal Sovereignty]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Consumerism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Cycle of life]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Compassion]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Ditching the pharmacy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ditching the supermarket]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://arealgreenlife.com/?p=22381</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Here are some of the things I have absolutely had enough of, and some of the changes I want to contribute to. Do you feel the same way? What would you change, in this list?</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://arealgreenlife.com/what-i-want-to-rebel-against/">Do You Feel Like Rebelling Against These Things Too?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://arealgreenlife.com">ARealGreenLife</a>.</p>
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				<div class="tve_ct_content tve_clearfix"><div class="ct_column"><div class="thrv_wrapper tve-toc-heading tve-toc-heading-level0 tve_no_icons" data-tag="H2" data-css="tve-u-667cc5bd94bba0" data-element-name="Heading Level 1"><a href="#t-1719453266440" class="tve-toc-anchor ">What am I rebelling against?</a></div><div class="thrv_wrapper tve-toc-heading tve-toc-heading-level0 tve_no_icons" data-tag="H2" data-css="tve-u-667cc5bd94bba0" data-element-name="Heading Level 1"><a href="#t-1719453266441" class="tve-toc-anchor ">It pisses me off when...</a></div><div class="thrv_wrapper tve-toc-heading tve-toc-heading-level0 tve_no_icons" data-tag="H2" data-css="tve-u-667cc5bd94bba0" data-element-name="Heading Level 1"><a href="#t-1719453266442" class="tve-toc-anchor ">I feel demoralized when...</a></div><div class="thrv_wrapper tve-toc-heading tve-toc-heading-level0 tve_no_icons" data-tag="H2" data-css="tve-u-667cc5bd94bba0" data-element-name="Heading Level 1"><a href="#t-1719453266443" class="tve-toc-anchor ">It hurts my heart when...</a></div><div class="thrv_wrapper tve-toc-heading tve-toc-heading-level0 tve_no_icons" data-tag="H2" data-css="tve-u-667cc5bd94bba0" data-element-name="Heading Level 1"><a href="#t-1719453266444" class="tve-toc-anchor ">The changes I want to contribute to are...</a></div><div class="thrv_wrapper tve-toc-heading tve-toc-heading-level0 tve_no_icons" data-tag="H2" data-css="tve-u-667cc5bd94bba0" data-element-name="Heading Level 1"><a href="#t-1719453266445" class="tve-toc-anchor ">I want to live in a world where...</a></div><div class="thrv_wrapper tve-toc-heading tve-toc-heading-level0 tve_no_icons" data-tag="H2" data-css="tve-u-667cc5bd94bba0" data-element-name="Heading Level 1"><a href="#t-1719453266446" class="tve-toc-anchor ">In my ideal world, people would...</a></div><div class="thrv_wrapper tve-toc-heading tve-toc-heading-level0 tve_no_icons" data-tag="H2" data-css="tve-u-667cc5bd94bba0" data-element-name="Heading Level 1"><a href="#t-1719453266448" class="tve-toc-anchor ">I want people to see that...</a></div></div><div class="thrv_wrapper thrv-divider tve-vert-divider" data-style="tve_sep-1" data-color-d="rgb(251, 254, 255)" data-css="tve-u-667cc5bd94bc47" data-thickness-d="1"><hr class="tve_sep tve_sep-1" style=""></div></div>
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	<div class="tve-cb"><div class="thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element" style="" data-css="tve-u-1905b8c613a"><p>A while ago I did some free writing in response to questions like, <em>"What do I want to rebel against? What hurts my heart? What changes do I want to contribute to?"</em><br></p><p>I thought I'd make a post out of it, because it expresses a lot of concerns that you might resonate with. It'll be an easy read because it's almost entirely in bullet point form.&nbsp;</p><p>When you get to the bottom, I'd love to hear your thoughts...&nbsp;<em>Do you feel like rebelling against these things too?&nbsp;</em><em>What would you add to or remove from the list?</em></p><h2 id="t-1719453266440" class="">What am I rebelling against?</h2><p>control</p><p>lack of choice</p><p>dis-empowerment</p><p>an education system that punishes children who can't sit still</p><p>a system that takes our data and our kids' data and makes profiles of us, the better to influence us, sell to us, and keep us trapped in consumerism our whole lives</p><p>a system that discourages people from thinking for themselves</p><p>big food</p><p>big ag</p><p>big pharma</p><p>the military-industrial complex... they're using our tax for this!&nbsp;</p><p>surveillance</p><p>loss of indigenous culture, language, knowledge</p><p>biodiversity loss</p><p>damage to rivers, grasslands, wet lands, oceans, soils, forests<br></p><h2 id="t-1719453266441" class="">It pisses me off when...</h2><p>people feed sugar to my kids</p><p>people bring screens to camps or put screens under my kids' noses</p><p>people dole out empty praise to my kids (as opposed to telling them specifically how what the child did, enriched the commentator's life, which I welcome)</p><p>people tell kids to stop crying, to not be angry, to not be scared...</p><p>people can't listen and empathize without giving advice or judging</p><p>people can't shut up</p><p>I feel trapped without options</p><p>people think they need the system to survive</p><p>men speak about themselves or about life in the voice of a hopeless or helpless victim, in the hearing of boys who are looking to them to see how to be a man<br><br>men (or women, but in my experience it tends to be men) using alcohol to loosen their inhibitions and avoid their blocks, instead of having the courage (and receiving the support they need) to feel what they feel and hold and heal it</p><h2 id="t-1719453266442" class="">I feel demoralized when...</h2><p>I know what to do but not how to do it</p><p>I see what needs to happen but not how to make it happen</p><p>I know what's wrong but not how to make it right</p><p>I want to make something right and others near me want to just submit to the system and live with what's wrong<br></p><h2 id="t-1719453266443" class="">It hurts my heart when...</h2><p>people are suffering alone and in silence</p><p>children and babies don't get their needs met</p><p>people are not compassionate - towards themselves or each other</p><p>I cant connect to nature</p><p>I don't feel heard</p><p>I see people's pain</p><p>I see forests/oceans/soils/grasslands destroyed</p><p>I see one of my kids not being empowered</p><p>I see the system trapping my kids</p><p>I treat my kids badly because I cant break free of how I was treated badly</p><p>I feel dis-empowered</p><p>I feel unwanted</p><p>what's wrong warps and twists and compresses and diminishes me and others into shadows of who we are meant to be</p><h2 id="t-1719453266444" class="">The changes I want to contribute to are...</h2><p>from a desperate, sad, lonely, fearful, angry world, to a connected, confident, curious world</p><p>from supermarket food to real food</p><p>from families being reliant on pharmaceutical medicines, to families knowing how to make basic remedies and medicines from herbs and local weeds</p><p>from a few global corporations controlling and homogenizing the global market pace, to hundreds of thousands of small, unique local businesses</p><p>from social media that keeps people entrapped and enslaved, to social media that frees people</p><p>from people trapped in jobs they hate, to people thriving in roles they love and feel appreciated in</p><h2 id="t-1719453266445" class="">I want to live in a world where...</h2><p>people make their own stuff or buy it from their friends or small local businesses rather than from unethical companies</p><p>people have access to resources to help them build know-how, choices, and support for themselves and their families</p><p>kids grow up free</p><p>grown-ups know how to take care of the kid inside them, so they can grow up free too</p><p>people feel safe</p><p>land, water, air, trees, animals are treated with respect and reverence</p><p>companies take back their product at the end of its life cycle and re-make it into a new product or something else useful</p><p>companies are accountable and transparent</p><p>parents are responsible, accountable, respectful, compassionate toward their kids (and themselves)</p><p>people can access the help and resources they need</p><p>the need for mental health support is not shameful</p><p>healing is a community affair instead of a sick or troubled person feeling isolated from their family and community</p><p>people grow up with their needs being honored and met</p><p>there are elders and peacemakers who can help people handle and resolve conflict</p><p>knowledge about real food is so common that cheap, heavily processed, sugar-filled fake foods evaporate from the food landscape in my lifetime</p><p>farmers are rewarded for doing the right thing</p><p>most of the population has a lot more involvement in where their food comes from</p><p>life is slower</p><p>people's needs for fun, excitement, challenge, connection, laughter , meaning, purpose, and contentment are so well met in their real, everyday lives that social media becomes a servant and stops being a master</p><p>people who make digital aps and develop digital technologies do so in ways that harness technology as a servant of the people, rather than deploying technology to control people and keep them hooked<br></p><p>people trust themselves and trust Life and trust each other</p><p>people can reach out to elders for support</p><p>elders are respected and remain within their families/communities until the end of their life</p><p>death is treated as part of life</p><p>prolonging life purely to avoid death is not a thing any more</p><p>adults can leave their kids and their responsibilities in the hands of other adults when they need time out to search, heal, reclaim, rebuild</p><p>all adults take responsibility for all children</p><p>children have models, real models, of what a healthy, fulfilled adult looks like</p><p>we can acknowledge and work with our pain so that we can transmute it into healing and power</p><p>ceremony and ritual are part of life</p><h2 id="t-1719453266446" class="">In my ideal world, people would...</h2><p>know where their food comes from and be more involved in producing and processing it</p><p>be healthier</p><p>be happier</p><p>be confident</p><p>be sovereign</p><p>say what they mean and mean what they say<br></p><p>say what they want and get what they want, unless it was harmful to them or to others</p><p>refuse to buy from companies that don't share their ethics</p><p>have options, resources, and support to enable them to refuse to buy from unethical companies</p><p>get up on Monday morning feeling inspired and enthusiastic instead of dreading or dull</p><p>see that their kids' education doesn't necessarily need to look like school</p><p>realize that the cosmetics industry duped them into spending billions on crap they don't need, that's bad for them and bad for the environment</p><p>realize that Big food, Big Pharma and Big Ag are all colluding to screw the people and none of them care about health</p><p>have choices, options, know how, the right questions to ask, and the courage to keep asking them and not taking BS for an answer</p><p>be able to reclaim everything: food, health, home, soil, water, spirit, language, culture, self...</p><h2 id="t-1719453266448" class="">I want people to see that...</h2><p>pointing the finger is not enough (in fact it's counter productive)</p><p>healing and reclamation needs to happen inside our hearts, our selves, our families, our gardens, our kitchens and bathrooms and communities</p><p>if we commit to healing and reclamation within our own spheres of influence to the degree that we can, global corporations will diminish in stature and significance... local businesses will proliferate... consumerism and global homogenization and unhealthy capitalism will gradually wane away.</p></div></div>
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<span class="tve-leads-two-step-trigger tl-2step-trigger-1721"></span><span class="tve-leads-two-step-trigger tl-2step-trigger-1721"></span><p>The post <a href="https://arealgreenlife.com/what-i-want-to-rebel-against/">Do You Feel Like Rebelling Against These Things Too?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://arealgreenlife.com">ARealGreenLife</a>.</p>
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		<title>Why We Try to Fix Other People, and What Might Happen if We Didn&#8217;t</title>
		<link>https://arealgreenlife.com/why-we-try-to-fix-others/</link>
					<comments>https://arealgreenlife.com/why-we-try-to-fix-others/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Kate]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 21 Oct 2023 22:31:33 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Inner Work Featured Post]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Make a difference]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tend Yourself]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Compassion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ET Featured post]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Hope]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Posts written in 2023]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Separation vs Interbeing]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://arealgreenlife.com/?p=20547</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>It's uncomfortable to be around someone who is suffering because it wakes up all that's untended to within our own selves. We can't stand that, so we hurry to put a band aide over what-ever is hurting in the other person, to quiet things down again, so we can get back to pretending we're fine.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://arealgreenlife.com/why-we-try-to-fix-others/">Why We Try to Fix Other People, and What Might Happen if We Didn&#8217;t</a> appeared first on <a href="https://arealgreenlife.com">ARealGreenLife</a>.</p>
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				<div class="tve_ct_content tve_clearfix"><div class="ct_column"><div class="thrv_wrapper tve-toc-heading tve-toc-heading-level0 tve_no_icons" data-tag="H2" data-css="tve-u-18b54497e8b" data-element-name="Heading Level 1"><a href="#t-1697924307354" class="tve-toc-anchor tve-jump-scroll" jump-animation="smooth">A fix... any fix</a></div><div class="thrv_wrapper tve-toc-heading tve-toc-heading-level0 tve_no_icons" data-tag="H2" data-css="tve-u-18b54497e8b" data-element-name="Heading Level 1"><a href="#t-1697924307355" class="tve-toc-anchor tve-jump-scroll" jump-animation="smooth">No need for fixing, and no strings attached</a></div><div class="thrv_wrapper tve-toc-heading tve-toc-heading-level0 tve_no_icons" data-tag="H2" data-css="tve-u-18b54497e8b" data-element-name="Heading Level 1"><a href="#t-1697924307356" class="tve-toc-anchor tve-jump-scroll" jump-animation="smooth">Tending to our own nervous system so that we can provide safety and holding for others</a></div><div class="thrv_wrapper tve-toc-heading tve-toc-heading-level0 tve_no_icons" data-tag="H2" data-css="tve-u-18b54497e8b" data-element-name="Heading Level 1"><a href="#t-1697924307357" class="tve-toc-anchor tve-jump-scroll" jump-animation="smooth">Source</a></div></div><div class="thrv_wrapper thrv-divider tve-vert-divider" data-style="tve_sep-1" data-color-d="rgb(251, 254, 255)" data-css="tve-u-18b54497e83" data-thickness-d="1"><hr class="tve_sep tve_sep-1" style=""></div></div>
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</div><div class="thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element"><h2 class="" id="t-1697924307354">A fix... any fix<br></h2><p>When someone we care about is suffering or struggling, it's SO tempting to swoop in and apply a fix. Say something, do something, anything to stop the pain -- theirs, and the corresponding discomfort that their pain evokes in us.<br><br>It's uncomfortable to be around someone who is suffering precisely because it wakes up all that's unattended and unheld and suppressed within our own selves. We can't stand that, so we hurry to put a band aide over what-ever is hurting in the other person to quiet things down again, so we can get back to pretending we're fine.<br><br>But any action we take or anything we say from that place communicates to the other person that it's wrong of them to be hurting, that we reject them in the state they're in and will only accept them when they stop it. And then, on top of whatever difficult emotions they're experiencing, they feel unseen, unheard, and alone. Possibly even more alone than they might be feeling if we weren't there, trying to fix them.</p><h2 class="" id="t-1697924307355">No need for fixing, and no strings attached<br></h2><p>What if we stopped trying to fix other people who are hurting? What if, instead, we could find the courage to just sit with them in that terribly uncomfortable space? What if we communicated, with or without words, something along the lines of:&nbsp;</p><p><em>"You don't need fixing. I'm confident that in your own time and in your own way, you will sort this out. I'm here with you until then."</em></p><p><em>"Whatever's going on for you doesn't make me love you any less."<br><br>"I see you. You are not alone."</em></p><p><em>"I can hold you AND your pain until you're ready to resolve it."<br><br>"I won't belittle you by pretending to know the answer. I get that if there were an easy answer, you would already have applied it." </em><br><br>What if we could give a hurting person this gift of our unconditional acceptance and presence, <strong>without requiring that they pay for it by getting over their problem and feeling better so that we can feel better?</strong>
<br><br>They don't need us to fix their problem. If they did, (if it was something like needing someone with a shifter instead of a hammer, or someone with stronger hands or someone taller) they would have just asked. <em>"Hey, Friend, would you fix this for me?"</em></p><h2 class="" id="t-1697924307356">Tending to our own nervous system so that we can provide safety and holding for others<br></h2><p>What a person who is in emotional pain and dis-regulation needs is for us to "loan" them, without strings attached, <strong>our calm, regulated nervous system</strong>. So that their jumbled and fragmented system can tap into ours and find respite, and then gradually, in its own time, put itself to rights.&nbsp;</p><p><strong>But we can't provide that for them if our own nervous system goes to pieces at the sight of their pain. </strong>So offering a suffering person what they really need (instead of just trying to fix them) requires us to tend to our own inner needs -- preferably as a regular practice, but also on the fly when we find ourselves in this situation with another person. <br></p><p>Which means that feeling that stab of urgency to fix someone's problem (when they're clearly emotionally upset or dis-regulated) is an <strong><em>opportunity</em></strong>.&nbsp;</p><p>It's an opportunity to turn inwards and make space within yourself. Make space for your own sense of urgency and discomfort so that what-ever is hurting within you can receive the same respectful, compassionate holding that you simultaneously give to your friend.</p><p>No fixing required, and no strings attached.</p><h2 class="" id="t-1697924307357">Source</h2><p>This post was inspired by Matt Licata's post, "<a href="http://alovinghealingspace.blogspot.com/2023/10/into-vessel-of-light.html" target="_blank" class="" style="outline: none;">Into a Vessel of Light</a>"<br></p></div></div></div><div class="tcb-flex-col" data-css="tve-u-18b5449a8cc" style=""><div class="tcb-col"><div class="thrv_wrapper tve-toc tve-elem-scroll tve-toc-expandable tcb-local-vars-root tcb-mobile-hidden" data-columns="1" data-ct="toc-60675" data-transition="slide" data-headers="h2" data-numbering="none" data-highlight="heading" data-ct-name="Table of Contents 07" data-heading-style="{&quot;0&quot;:&quot;tve-u-18b545cc247&quot;,&quot;1&quot;:&quot;tve-u-18b54497e7a&quot;,&quot;2&quot;:&quot;tve-u-18b54497e7b&quot;}" data-css="tve-u-18b545cc236" data-state-default="expanded" data-bullet-style="{&quot;0&quot;:&quot;tve-u-1739a100df4&quot;,&quot;1&quot;:&quot;tve-u-18b54497e7c&quot;,&quot;2&quot;:&quot;tve-u-18b54497e7e&quot;}" data-number-style="{&quot;0&quot;:&quot;tve-u-18b54497e7f&quot;,&quot;1&quot;:&quot;tve-u-18b54497e80&quot;,&quot;2&quot;:&quot;tve-u-18b54497e81&quot;}" data-animation="fade" data-columns-d="1" data-state-default-m="collapsed" data-element-name="Table of Contents" data-tve-scroll="{&quot;disabled&quot;:[&quot;mobile&quot;],&quot;top&quot;:30,&quot;mode&quot;:&quot;sticky&quot;,&quot;end&quot;:&quot;parent&quot;}" data-state-default-d="expanded" data-id="lvbjs7y3"><div class="thrive-colors-palette-config" style="display: none !important"></div><div class="tve-toc-divider" style="position: absolute; width: 0; height: 0; overflow: hidden;"><div class="thrv_wrapper thrv-divider tve-vert-divider" data-style="tve_sep-1" data-color-d="rgb(251, 254, 255)" data-css="tve-u-18b545cc239" data-thickness-d="1"><hr class="tve_sep tve_sep-1" style=""></div></div><svg class="toc-icons" style="position: absolute; width: 0; height: 0; overflow: hidden;" version="1.1" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><symbol viewBox="0 0 512 512" id="toc-bullet-0-lvbjs7y3" data-id="icon-arrow-alt-circle-right-outlined"><path d="M504 256C504 119 393 8 256 8S8 119 8 256s111 248 248 248 248-111 248-248zm-448 0c0-110.5 89.5-200 200-200s200 89.5 200 200-89.5 200-200 200S56 366.5 56 256zm72 20v-40c0-6.6 5.4-12 12-12h116v-67c0-10.7 12.9-16 20.5-8.5l99 99c4.7 4.7 4.7 12.3 0 17l-99 99c-7.6 7.6-20.5 2.2-20.5-8.5v-67H140c-6.6 0-12-5.4-12-12z"></path></symbol><symbol xmlns:xlink="http://www.w3.org/1999/xlink" version="1.1" id="toc-bullet-1-lvbjs7y3" viewBox="0 0 24 24" data-id="icon-circle-small-solid"><path d="M12,10A2,2 0 0,0 10,12C10,13.11 10.9,14 12,14C13.11,14 14,13.11 14,12A2,2 0 0,0 12,10Z"></path></symbol><symbol xmlns:xlink="http://www.w3.org/1999/xlink" version="1.1" id="toc-bullet-2-lvbjs7y3" viewBox="0 0 24 24" data-id="icon-circle-small-solid"><path d="M12,10A2,2 0 0,0 10,12C10,13.11 10.9,14 12,14C13.11,14 14,13.11 14,12A2,2 0 0,0 12,10Z"></path></symbol></svg>
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				<div class="tve_ct_content tve_clearfix"><div class="ct_column"><div class="thrv_wrapper tve-toc-heading tve-toc-heading-level0 tve_no_icons" data-tag="H2" data-css="tve-u-18b545cc247" data-element-name="Heading Level 1"><a href="#t-1697924307354" class="tve-toc-anchor tve-jump-scroll" jump-animation="smooth">A fix... any fix</a></div><div class="thrv_wrapper tve-toc-heading tve-toc-heading-level0 tve_no_icons" data-tag="H2" data-css="tve-u-18b545cc247" data-element-name="Heading Level 1"><a href="#t-1697924307355" class="tve-toc-anchor tve-jump-scroll" jump-animation="smooth">No need for fixing, and no strings attached</a></div><div class="thrv_wrapper tve-toc-heading tve-toc-heading-level0 tve_no_icons" data-tag="H2" data-css="tve-u-18b545cc247" data-element-name="Heading Level 1"><a href="#t-1697924307356" class="tve-toc-anchor tve-jump-scroll" jump-animation="smooth">Tending to our own nervous system so that we can provide safety and holding for others</a></div><div class="thrv_wrapper tve-toc-heading tve-toc-heading-level0 tve_no_icons" data-tag="H2" data-css="tve-u-18b545cc247" data-element-name="Heading Level 1"><a href="#t-1697924307357" class="tve-toc-anchor tve-jump-scroll" jump-animation="smooth">Source</a></div></div><div class="thrv_wrapper thrv-divider tve-vert-divider" data-style="tve_sep-1" data-color-d="rgb(251, 254, 255)" data-css="tve-u-18b545cc239" data-thickness-d="1"><hr class="tve_sep tve_sep-1" style=""></div></div>
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<span class="tve-leads-two-step-trigger tl-2step-trigger-1721"></span><span class="tve-leads-two-step-trigger tl-2step-trigger-1721"></span><p>The post <a href="https://arealgreenlife.com/why-we-try-to-fix-others/">Why We Try to Fix Other People, and What Might Happen if We Didn&#8217;t</a> appeared first on <a href="https://arealgreenlife.com">ARealGreenLife</a>.</p>
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		<title>On “Not Enough Time,” and “Not Good Enough”</title>
		<link>https://arealgreenlife.com/not-good-enough/</link>
					<comments>https://arealgreenlife.com/not-good-enough/#respond</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Kate]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 02 Apr 2023 01:52:08 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Building Personal Sovereignty]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tend Yourself]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Compassion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Posts written in 2023]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self-care]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Time]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://arealgreenlife.com/?p=19408</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>A short post on how we use our time and those uncomfortable feelings of "not enough time," and "not good enough." Turns out, they might all be connected. </p>
<p>The post <a href="https://arealgreenlife.com/not-good-enough/">On “Not Enough Time,” and “Not Good Enough”</a> appeared first on <a href="https://arealgreenlife.com">ARealGreenLife</a>.</p>
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										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="thrv_wrapper thrv-page-section tve-height-update tcb-window-width" style="">
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	<div class="tve-cb"><div class="thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element" data-css="tve-u-1873f841ddc"><p>Time, in some ways, seems to me to move faster the older I get. Maybe that's a perspective thing, kind of a zooming out. The seasons keep passing; seasonal markers and other celebrations like birthdays keep coming around again... and again.&nbsp;</p><p>I'd like to feel better about <a href="https://arealgreenlife.com/not-enough-time/" class="" style="outline: none;">how I engage with time</a> -- which in essence is how we engage with Life. <br></p><p>Part of that has to do with just getting better at pausing and engaging fully with whatever the moment offers. But I think it also has to do with being more deliberate about what we choose to fill the moments with.</p><p>Which leads me to examine how we make those choices. What drives us to do the things we do?</p><h2 class="">Trying to "be good," seeking approval<br></h2><p>One of the things that drives us is the compulsion to try to <em>"be good."</em> That is, <em>"good enough"</em> to earn approval or to avoid disapproval.</p><p>For example, I spend inordinate amounts of time fussing around to get a post for ARealGreenLife <em>"good enough"</em> (meaning, <em>"perfect,"</em>) before I can press publish. <br></p><p data-css="tve-u-18743a1dd30">There are at least three problems relating to that:</p></div><div class="thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element" data-type="" data-css="tve-u-18743a3cf24" style="">	<p style="" data-css="tve-u-18743a52e3f">1. Nothing can ever be perfect.&nbsp;</p><p>2. While I'm trying to make it so, I'm "using up time" and not getting anything else done.&nbsp;</p></div><div class="thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element" data-css="tve-u-1873f841ddc"><p data-empty="true">And in that little phrase, "not getting anything else done," lies a clue to the third problem:</p></div><div class="thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element" data-css="tve-u-187cabdc5a0" style=""><p data-empty="true">3. I'm obsessed with the need to <em>"get something done."</em>&nbsp;<br></p></div><div class="thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element" data-css="tve-u-1873f841ddc"><p data-empty="true">And why do I need to <em>"get something done"</em>? To earn approval!</p><h2 class="" data-empty="true">The internal critic <br></h2><p data-empty="true">You're right. I'm a grown up, supposedly a free one, in a supposedly free country. I shouldn't need anybody's approval. There's nobody standing over me, controlling me.&nbsp;</p><p data-empty="true">Or is there? What about the internal critic? Most of us are experts at seizing on the least hint of disapproval from the outside world, magnifying it, and using it to beat ourselves up. Which is a great <a href="https://arealgreenlife.com/stick-carrot-gift/">motivator</a> to keep us with our noses to the grindstone, trying to do better at being<em> "good enough."</em></p></div><div class="thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element" data-type="" data-css="tve-u-18743a45fe7" style=""><p>And while we're doing that, we're not actually engaging with Life. We're just using up time, trying to be perfect, to avoid that terrible feeling inside of <em>"not good enough."</em>&nbsp;</p></div></div>
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<span class="tve-leads-two-step-trigger tl-2step-trigger-1721"></span><span class="tve-leads-two-step-trigger tl-2step-trigger-1721"></span><p>The post <a href="https://arealgreenlife.com/not-good-enough/">On “Not Enough Time,” and “Not Good Enough”</a> appeared first on <a href="https://arealgreenlife.com">ARealGreenLife</a>.</p>
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		<title>5 Questions to Help You Learn From Last Year and Make the Most of This Year</title>
		<link>https://arealgreenlife.com/5-big-questions/</link>
					<comments>https://arealgreenlife.com/5-big-questions/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Kate]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 28 Dec 2021 07:28:05 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Building Personal Sovereignty]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Cycle of life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Journaling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tend Yourself]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Compassion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Hope]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Motivation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Posts written in 2021]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self-reliance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sovereignty]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://arealgreenlife.com/?p=15218</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Examine and learn from the year gone by, to make your New Year resolutions far more effective. Or use this process during any kind of ending and new beginning. </p>
<p>The post <a href="https://arealgreenlife.com/5-big-questions/">5 Questions to Help You Learn From Last Year and Make the Most of This Year</a> appeared first on <a href="https://arealgreenlife.com">ARealGreenLife</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="thrv_wrapper thrv-page-section" style="" data-css="tve-u-173c5861cc6">
<div class="tve-page-section-out" data-css="tve-u-163fb39f4cc"></div>
<div class="tve-page-section-in tve_empty_dropzone" data-css="tve-u-173c585e070" style=""><div class="thrv_wrapper tve_image_caption" data-css="tve-u-17db6b99bbc"><span class="tve_image_frame"><img decoding="async" class="tve_image tcb-moved-image wp-image-15213" alt="" data-id="15213" data-init-width="400" data-init-height="300" title="Sunrise by Kate @ ARealGreenLife.com" loading="lazy" src="https://arealgreenlife.com/wp-content/uploads/DSCF6723.-We-are-powerful-400px.jpg" data-width="400" data-height="300" style="" data-css="tve-u-17db6b9a0b8" width="400" height="300" srcset="https://arealgreenlife.com/wp-content/uploads/DSCF6723.-We-are-powerful-400px.jpg 400w, https://arealgreenlife.com/wp-content/uploads/DSCF6723.-We-are-powerful-400px-300x225.jpg 300w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px" /></span></div><div class="thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element" data-tag="h2" style="" data-css="tve-u-161ddf099c4"><h1 class="" style="" data-css="tve-u-17e756ee0bf" align="center">5 Questions to Help You learn from Last Year and Make the Most of This Year</h1></div><div class="thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element tve_empty_dropzone" style="" data-css="tve-u-164147045f7"><p data-css="tve-u-16414706c73" style="text-align: center;">About a 6-7 minute read<br />28th December, 2021<br /></p></div><div class="thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element" data-css="tve-u-17bdbca2311" style=""><p data-css="tve-u-17d923555ca" style=""><em></em><em>This year instead of just setting New Year intentions, I looked back first to see what I could learn from last year. The results were revealing, and I feel good about what I learned and the intentions I ended up setting. In this article I’ll share the journaling process I used.&nbsp;</em><em>It works for New Year rituals, but it also works for other endings/beginnings too.<br /></em></p><p><em> </em></p></div></div></div> [&#8230;]<span class="tve-leads-two-step-trigger tl-2step-trigger-1721"></span><span class="tve-leads-two-step-trigger tl-2step-trigger-1721"></span><p>The post <a href="https://arealgreenlife.com/5-big-questions/">5 Questions to Help You Learn From Last Year and Make the Most of This Year</a> appeared first on <a href="https://arealgreenlife.com">ARealGreenLife</a>.</p>
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		<title>Difficult Emotions are Allies in Disguise</title>
		<link>https://arealgreenlife.com/difficult-emotions-allies-in-disguise/</link>
					<comments>https://arealgreenlife.com/difficult-emotions-allies-in-disguise/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Kate]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 07 Dec 2021 06:19:08 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Everything is Connected]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Journaling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tend Yourself]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Compassion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Hope]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Posts written in 2021]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://arealgreenlife.com/?p=14968</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Where those difficult emotions might be coming from, what might be amplifying them, and why it's important to be gentle with yourself when they show up. </p>
<p>The post <a href="https://arealgreenlife.com/difficult-emotions-allies-in-disguise/">Difficult Emotions are Allies in Disguise</a> appeared first on <a href="https://arealgreenlife.com">ARealGreenLife</a>.</p>
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<div class="tve-page-section-in tve_empty_dropzone" data-css="tve-u-173c585e070" style=""><div class="thrv_wrapper tve_image_caption" data-css="tve-u-17db6b99bbc"><span class="tve_image_frame"><img decoding="async" class="tve_image wp-image-15080 tcb-moved-image" alt="" data-id="15080" data-init-width="400" data-init-height="267" title="sunflower by bichnguyenvo on Pixabay" loading="lazy" src="https://arealgreenlife.com/wp-content/uploads/sunflower-by-bichnguyenvo-on-Pixabay.-400px.jpg" data-width="400" data-height="267" style="" data-css="tve-u-17db6b9a0b8" width="400" height="267" srcset="https://arealgreenlife.com/wp-content/uploads/sunflower-by-bichnguyenvo-on-Pixabay.-400px.jpg 400w, https://arealgreenlife.com/wp-content/uploads/sunflower-by-bichnguyenvo-on-Pixabay.-400px-300x200.jpg 300w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px" /></span></div><div class="thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element" data-tag="h2" style="" data-css="tve-u-161ddf099c4"><h1 class="" data-css="tve-u-178aa717d16" style="text-align: center;">Difficult Emotions are Allies in Disguise<br /></h1></div><div class="thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element tve_empty_dropzone" style="" data-css="tve-u-164147045f7"><p data-css="tve-u-16414706c73" style="text-align: center;">About a 5 - 6 minute read<br />7th December, 2021<br /></p></div><div class="thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element" data-css="tve-u-17bdbca2311" style=""><p data-css="tve-u-17d923555ca" style=""><em>This started from a gathering of few recent entries in my personal journal and grew into a post about difficult emotions, where they might be coming from, what might be amplifying them, and why it's important to be gentle with yourself when they show up.</em><em><br /></em></p><p><em> </em></p></div></div></div> [&#8230;]<span class="tve-leads-two-step-trigger tl-2step-trigger-1721"></span><span class="tve-leads-two-step-trigger tl-2step-trigger-1721"></span><p>The post <a href="https://arealgreenlife.com/difficult-emotions-allies-in-disguise/">Difficult Emotions are Allies in Disguise</a> appeared first on <a href="https://arealgreenlife.com">ARealGreenLife</a>.</p>
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